relationships
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You may not have heard a little-known fact that’s well-known in the field of sociology: Couples who live together before they marry (what social scientists call “cohabitation”) are more likely to divorce. Why? This is intrinsically odd (counterintuitive, if you like), because you’d think these couples would already have been exposed to each other’s character
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Since I’ve long been interested in extramarital love affairs, thanks to my own experiences, I’ve noticed a persistent explanation for why they happen: It usually boils down to this unproven banality…You had an affair because you don’t believe you deserve love. This sweeping idea is so vague it can be sloppily applied to many people,
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In the Fifties and Sixties, my mom was hardly a Trad Wife: she had fallen in love and married, yes…and then she constantly worked because we couldn’t get by on my father’s salary as a subway worker. She also hated household maintenance, and had no interest (or competence) in the joys of “making food from
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Hetero-pessimism? I have to confess it: I love men. Not all of them, of course, but that’s the sex I’m romantically and physically attracted to, like it or not. I also have a bunch of male friends I’m not attracted to, and that’s been enriching for me. Why do I get along well with males?
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M.A.F.S. English professor or not, I’m not embarrassed to admit that I’m a Married at First Sight super-fan. I’ve seen every season since the first, and even with its poor rate of successful marriages (maybe better than The Bachelor/Bachelorette, though), I find it fascinating. Why? Because it’s so difficult to predict which couples will stay
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In my previous post, I asked which you’d choose: “passion,” meaning intense emotional desire, or “love”, defined as deep companionable affection. The question is absurd: in real life, you can’t choose which one you feel for a particular person. My hypothetical question was only meant to show something about yourself. For example, I would choose
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Let’s say you have to choose Door A or Door B for your future life. Behind Door A is a person you could love passionately all your life. But your fate is to spend only a short time with Person A, and you cannot know how long. Behind Door B is a person you’ll be
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Not long ago a question came up in my Women and Literature class: Who should pay for the first date? My students eagerly participated in the discussion, even the ones who hadn’t done the reading or never talked in class. ALL my female students said they expected the man to pay, certainly for the first
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In Part II, I wrote: Ask questions! Not factual questions (“How do you get to work?”), or at least not mostly factual questions. Look, if you’re not just looking for sex or fun (which is sometimes the same thing), you want to plumb the depths, and quickly. Or at least I do, to fend off
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How Not to Date Me Online, Part I The Dating Profile: 1. I know this sounds odd, but telling me what activities you like to do in your profile isn’t helpful. Why? Because so, so many people like to travel, go to movies, and eat out, believe it or not! It doesn’t matter to me
Susan Ostrov 